Scientific Bong

Who is, was and always will be in Scientific Bong?
Scientific Bong was I, Prof. Teddington Tokesworth, Esq. (Cormy) on vocals, Dr. Ghengis Ghengis Magnifico Greengrass (Donjo) on bass/vocals, Prof. Theolonius “The Edgecrusher” H. Chronkite (Damo) on guitar and Dr. J. Alfred Barrington McBlunt III (Eoin) on drums. Live, studio and laboratory assistance provided by Bullets (Fogarty).

How long have you been together?

Started summer 2001 when McBlunt & I were stoned out of our fuckin heads and talking bollocks while hiding in a bush and smokin. We discussed how there must be scientists all over the world creating hugely potent strains of THC -the “Bionic Chronic”, if you will. As we rolled around laughing at our own comic genius, we said we should have a band called Scientific Bong that sang about nothing except smokin. Ended summer 2004 when I moved to Denmark -R.I.P., Rot In Piss.

When did you first start playing together?

About a week or so after we were talking bollocks about having a band that was all about teh chron, the guitar player from our old band, Nerdlinger, melodic hardcorepunk kinda stuff, never showed up for practice, so we wrote a hardcore song, The Chronic Endorsement, as Scientific Bong. This was when we were still often in Roscommon (where we grew up), it wasn’t until a few months later that we stopped going there (pretty much) completely and all lived in Dublin and started practicing properly. We used to practice at this old lock-up that we rented with the Steam Pig, Estel & Sir Killalot, but they kicked us out for (we later found out) being too smelly.

Where was the first show you guys ever played?

The joke had already gone too far by the time Damo heard about it, at which point he asked us if we wanted to play with Tragedy, which he was putting on sometime around winter 2001. We said fuck yeah and practised and wrote 5 or 6 songs, which we played along with covers of Minor Threat’s “Straight Edge” and No For An Answer’s “Just Say No”. We immediately discovered how much more fun it was to play fast ugly hardcore than melodic punk rock, and Nerdlinger died pretty soon after. Then after a few weeks we asked Damo to join cos we were good friends with him, he was totally into his smokin, and he was a much better guitar player than me & I wanted to be able to spazz out & jump around more without having to play guitar. The first gig with Damo was a party for my birthday at the Milltown punk house where we lived, with Puget Sound and Kid Blunt. The first gig proper with him was with From Ashes Rise & Bastard Youth.

Where did the name Scientific Bong come from?
Too much hash. And the “Better Smoking Thru Science” idea -we used to dress up in labcoats, goggles & gasmasks and shit to play.

Who would you say are your biggest influences, personally and in the band as a group?

Em…I would say…I dunno. We all wanted it to sound different. I wanted it to be like Crossed Out, No Comment, Dropdead, Despise You….basically as fast, blunt-edged and ugly as possible…Eoin & Donal wanted to play fast hardcore but were more into writing more diverse type songs…Damo added widdly-wee guitar bits and did stuff I’d never have been able to… Other than that, I’d say Cheech & Chong. As for non-music influences, we’re all most definitely hugely influenced by DIY hardcorepunk ethics. We’re all very much into the anarcho/crust punk way of thinking, maybe Damo somewhat less, but all that shit -vegetarianism/veganism, squatting, fighting the cops, taking back your own fucking life. Thats probably what influences us more than anything.

Lyrically who and what influenced you most, bands, writers, drugs…?

Probably Snoop Dogg, Warren G, House of Pain and Cypress Hill. We were all really into that gansta rap shit when we were about 12 years old, still listen to it occasionaly, it’s pretty good apart from all the “bee-atch!” this and “ho’!” that, y’know? Some of the song lyrics were written properly, about the fucking pigs and bullshit laws and all the shit that causes, others were about the gateway drug myth, but mostly they were about being stoned, cops raiding your gaff, dickhead dealers, really good hash, the legend of XwintonX, blah blah blah…probably because they were mostly written just before gigs/recording. Probably also suffered from too much hash & hallucinogen consumption.

What was the best show you guys ever played and or the best time you had with Scientific Bong?
The best times were whenever we went to play in other cities, twice we did short tours with Amy from Kilcoole driving us and they were both fucking amazing, basically just booze-fueled disasters. We were supposed to do a tour for between 3 weeks & 2 months in Europe with Bastard Youth the summer of 2003, it’s just as well we didn’t or we’d probably all be in some kind of an institution. It was also deadly being able to put out our own demo & 12″ totally DIY, it’s a great feeling of acheivement. The best gigs were probably in Belfast at the Warzone, December ’02, we were totally fucked, the gig was with Bastard Youth & Scared Shitless and we’d been drinking rather a lot of vodka and cider, and played in the nip. Great fun, willys and bums everywhere. Also one of the last gigs in Limerick was really good just because we’d been practicing a lot and we played the whole set tight-as-fuck with pretty much no breaks, just a 20 minute wall of grinding noise and I couldn’t talk for about a half hour afterwards, I nearly died I was so fucked. Then the last gig at the GGI Fest in Wexford was great, just cos it went well and also because we took off all our clothes again and scared some small children.

What will you miss most about the band?
Hanging out and playing music with 3 of my best friends in the world. Also having an outlet for frustrations and negative emotions. Sometimes you just need to scream and scream and grit your teeth and smash a microphone into your face. Well, I do anyway. Also being able to travel places where you can play to new people and if you’re lucky break even, get fed, make new friends and have a laugh.

Name three GOOD things about being in Scientific Bong?

Eoin, Donal & Damo.

Name three BAD things about being in Scientific Bong?

Eoin, Donal & Damo. And the price of practicing in Dublin -fucking mental.

If you were locked in a room with George w. Bush what would you do?

Take my clothes off and do pisses & shits on the floor, and then mix it all up, and then chase him around with an erection until he slipped and fell in it, and then I’d wrestle him.

I enjoyed reading your zine ‘bite the hand that feeds the poisoned food’ how’s the second issue coming along? Will it be the last one or do you plan to keep doing something when you are in Denmark?

Thanks…glad you liked it. The 2nd one’s even bigger & (I think) better. It’s out now, in Ireland you can get it in Red Ink or the Secret Book & Record Store in Dublin or by post from me at PO Box 578, 2200 K√∏benhavn N, Danmark, or e-mail me . Yes, it’ll continue, the next issue is a split issue with Cotton Fist. The following issue will have an interview with Isis, a piece on the Warzone Collective, an interview with a friend of mine who’s an ex-U.S. soldier and fought in the first gulf war and some other shit.

Any last words, anything at all???

Check out Easpa Measa, it’s Damo’s new band, they’re deadly . Also check out Eoin & Donal’s new project, Lebanon Death Train, and I’m now playing in a band called Police Funeral -check it! In general -think about shit, try not to harm other living things, take care of yourself & your friends, write to other punx & make zines, trade tapes, get bad tattoos and wear studs, spikes and bullet belts, fight cops and smoke fuckin’ dope. Nice one, Al.

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